Self-healing in Difficult Times
These past few weeks I have watched some excellent webinars dealing with anxiety, sadness, and grief. For one, I thought it would be good information to know since Hope United addresses addiction and mental health issues, but secondly, because the pandemic and other events that have been happening lately have left me feeling anxious, sometimes depressed, sad, and just not myself. I have a feeling that many of you are in the same boat. Through these trainings, I learned that it is okay to sit with uncomfortable feelings. I learned that we can use coping interventions to help deal with difficult emotions. I also learned that self-compassion is a form of self-healing. According to Brandi Lust who led the webinars, “when we see our pain, we experience self-awareness. When we attend to our pain with kindness, we experience healing. When we are healed, we have more of ourselves available to give to others.”
Think about it this way. Imagine you had a friend who was dealing with a difficult situation. How would you respond to your friend? Most likely with some compassion and kindness, maybe with a little empathy and some encouraging words. What if we began to treat ourselves the same way we would treat a good friend who is hurting? When we direct this response internally towards ourselves, it is known as self-compassion. This can create a sense of self-worth because it helps us to genuinely care about our well-being.
I found that these interventions have been extremely helpful – almost too good to keep them to myself. So no matter if you are dealing with something upsetting, you are in recovery from an addiction, or maybe you have some increased anxiety from all the changes we have experienced lately with the stay-at-home orders and restrictions, please take a moment to check out these great coping mechanisms. They just might help you get yourself back on the right track.
Show Compassion Towards Yourself - This is a great way to be your own inner-coach and show support and compassion for yourself. To start, touch your hand to your heart, your arm or even your shoulder area. Now speak some reassuring words to yourself. For instance, you can say something like “It’s going to be okay.”, “You are not alone.”, or “You can get through this.”. According to experts from Mindful.org, “Individuals who are more self-compassionate tend to have greater happiness, life satisfaction and motivation, better relationships and physical health, and less anxiety and depression.”
Self-hug – This coping strategy will help you to self-soothe and calm yourself. Wrap your arms across your body to the opposite shoulders. Give yourself a big squeeze. You may also find it helpful to say a few positive affirmations at this time. Give yourself as many squeezes as necessary to help you feel more at ease.
Hands On the Heart – This is an easy intervention to do to comfort yourself if you are feeling sad. Place your right hand over your heart and place your left hand over your right hand. Begin breathing, as if through your heart, in and out very slowly. You may want to think of a soothing word such as peace, love, calm, or hope. Choose one word that is meaningful to you, and with each inhalation and exhalation, breathe this chosen word into your heart, then breathe it out slowly. After several breathes, switch your hands over your heart placing the left hand underneath the right. Continue to breathe slowly for several breathes.
Mindful Movement Fist Exercise - This practice will help to focus your attention on your movement and breath which can reduce anxiety. To start, “make fists with both your hands, then stretch your fingers out widely. Do this movement in and out to the rhythm of your breath.”
Box Breathing - This is a simple technique to help reduce stress and can be done anywhere. Stark Mental Health and Addiction Recovery created a great YouTube video on how to do the box breathing that you can use while doing this practice.
Before starting, sit with your back supported in a comfortable chair and place your feet on the floor.
1. Now close your eyes. You can imagine a box to help you visualize. Breathe in through your nose while counting slowly to four.
2. Hold the air in your lungs while slowly counting to four.
3. Now begin to slowly exhale for four seconds.
4. Hold your lungs empty while counting slowly to four.
Repeat these steps several times or until calm returns.Bee’s Breath – This is a great way to relieve stress, anger, or anxiety. Take in a long, deep breath in through your nose keeping your lips sealed.
On the exhale, keep your mouth closed and allow yourself to make a buzzing or humming sound. Repeat this several times to help you calm down and relax.Five things – This strategy is meant to help bring your focus back if you have become very anxious or upset. This can be a great grounding tool to use if your mind is racing. Think of five things around you that you notice – one for each of the five senses: sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch. The nice thing about this coping technique is that you can do this pretty much anywhere.
Cooling Breath - This practice creates a cooling effect which can help soothe and calm the mind and body. This is perfect for those times when you are angry or frustrated.
Here’s how to do it. Begin by rolling your tongue (or pursing your lips if you cannot roll your tongue), and inhale slowly as if sipping air through a straw. Let the breath expand through your chest. Now close your mouth and exhale slowly through your nose. Repeat 5 - 10 times.
Progressive Muscle Relaxation - This is an excellent way to reduce stress and relieve tension in the body. Here is how it is done:
While inhaling, contract one muscle group (for example your hands) for 5 seconds to 10 seconds, then exhale and suddenly release the tension in that muscle group.
Give yourself 10 seconds to pause and relax, and then move on to the next muscle group (for example your forearms).
When releasing the tension, try to focus on the changes you feel when the muscle group is relaxed.
Gradually work your way up the body contracting and relaxing muscle groups. Check out this article from the University of Michigan for a more in-depth explanation of this practice.
Guided Meditation – Mindfulness meditation is a great tool to improve your mental and emotional health. In fact, according to this article in Healthline, scientific research has shown that meditation can reduce stress and anxiety, promote better sleep, can even help in a person’s recovery from addiction, and so much more. There are numerous meditation apps available on your mobile phone, you can find some to follow along with on YouTube, or visit Brandi Lust’s website where she has several 5, 10 and 15 minute guided meditations you can try.
Prayer - While the power of prayer was not discussed in the webinars, we should not forget the benefits you can reap from a practice of daily prayer. This can be an important part of your psychological well-being, and research has shown that it can reduce depression and anxiety, as well as help to regulate our emotions. So, take some quiet time today and connect with God through prayer.
Weighted Blanket – This is more of an after-thought and not something I learned through all this, but more from my own experience. Help calm your nerves and feel more rested by using a weighted blanket when you sleep. It’s like a giant hug all night long. This is an excellent way to calm yourself and help you to get a better night’s rest.
I encourage you to try some of these relaxation and coping strategies when life is getting tough. Or maybe incorporate a couple into your daily routine. The current state of events in our world can leave one feeling overwhelmed, stressed, and sad. There is hope that you can find comfort and compassion through a practice of self-healing and coping interventions. Take the time to be a light for yourself when times are tough so that you can be a light to others as well.